Bath.co.uk Kidz Corner




1.Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me. Next please! 2.Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me. One at a time please 3.Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam. You're too tents. 4.Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who said that? 5.Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film! Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops. 6.Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep. Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off. 7.Doctor, Doctor I've lost my memory! When did this happen? When did what happen? 8.Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later. 9.Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Use a pencil 'till I get there.
11.Waiter, this soup tastes funny ! Then why aren't you laughing ? 12.Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup ? It looks like it's learning to swim sir 13.Waiter, there is a small slug in this lettuce! I'm sorry sir, would you like me to get you a bigger one ? 14.Waiter, do you have frogs legs ? No sir, I've always walked like this. 15.Waiter, there's a caterpillar on my salad! Don't worry sir, there is no extra charge. 16.Waiter, there is a fly in my soup ? Don't worry sir that spider on your bread will soon get him ! 17.Waiter, this coffee is terrible, it tastes like earth! Yes sir, it was ground yesterday ! 18.Waiter, bring me something to eat and make it snappy. How about a crocodile sandwich sir ! 19.Waiter, is there soup on the menu ? No, madam I wiped it off ! 20.Waiter, this egg is bad! Don't blame me sir, I only laid the table !
21.What do you call a man with a plank on his head ? Edward ! 22.What do you call a man with a spade on his head ? Doug ! 23.What do you call a man without a spade on his head ? Douglas ! 24.What do you call a man with a car on his head ? Jack ! 25.What do you call a man with a lavatory on his head ? Lou ! 26.What do you call a woman with two lavatories on her head ? Lulu ! 27.What do you call a woman with a bunch of holly on her head ? Carol ! 28.What do you call a woman with a cat on her head ? Kitty ! 29.What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head? Russell !
30.Why did the hen cross the road ? To prove she wasn't chicken ! 31.How do you stop a head cold going to your chest ? Easy - tie a knot in your neck ! 32.Why shouldn't you try to swim on a full stomach ? Because it's easier to swim on a full swimming pool 33.What creature sticks to the bottom of sheep ships ? Baaa-nacles ! 34.How do you know if your little brother is turning into a fridge ? See if a little light come on whenever he opens his mouth ! 35.What is the coldest part of the North Pole ? An explorer's noes ! 36.What do computer operators eat for lunch ? Chips ! 37.Why is that man standing in the sink ? He's a tap dancer ! 38.Where do rabbits learn to fly ? In the Hare Force !